Ah, the 70s, 80s, and 90s—the triumvirate of terror for anyone with a functioning central nervous system. This was a time before ‘helicopter parenting’ was a thing; our parents were more like ‘submarine parents’—they surfaced occasionally to make sure we were still alive, then went back to whatever they were doing, which was probably smoking indoors. We weren’t coddled; we were beta-testers for the human body. The world was our playground, and that playground was built over concrete and featured metal slides that could achieve surface-of-the-sun temperatures by 10 AM. This segment is a love letter to the toys and terrain that tried to maim us, and the blissful ignorance that let it all happen.”
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